A DAY WITHOUT SMILING IS A WASTED DAY!!
Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom.
*****
In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of Fruits on it. They are:
A. Apple
B. Banana
C. Strawberry
D. Peach
E.
Which fruit will you choose? Please think VERY carefully and don't rush into it. This is great, I was astounded! Your choice reveals a lot about you!
Test results: Please SCROLL DOWN
If you have chosen:
A. Apple: That means you are a person who loves to eat apples
B. Banana: That means you are a person who loves to eat bananas
C. Strawberry: That means you are a person who loves to eat strawberries
D. Peach: That means you are a person who loves to eat peaches
E. Orange : That means you are a person who loves to eat oranges
I hope you find fulfillment in this new insight about yourself. May it bring you peace and understanding, tranquility and all that other profound stuff!
*****
Subject: The Italian Secret of a Long Marriage
At Saint Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar.
At the session last week, the Priest asked Luigi, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Luigi replied to the assembled husbands, "Wella, I've a-tried to treat-a her nizza, spend da money on her, but besta of all is that I tooka her to
The Priest responded, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary."
Luigi proudly replied, "I'm agonna go get her."
*********
1. Men are like .. Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like. Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather Nothing can be done to change them
4. Men are like .... Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like . Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like ... Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms ..... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like .... Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
